Sieve soberly not overly

Instead of polishing Polish paunches,
Complain about Irksome polyester cauliflowers,
(If one should arrive
On your threshold)
To anyone who will listen.
Complete a Dungaree degree.
Fold envelopes merrily
Into quarters
And then slowly unfold them.
Watch a vexatious beaver
Endure a slight fever.
Track changes to pea policy
(Highlight all words beginning with p
In green).
Eat soup through an elaborate straw
While staring at a green door
You have seen before.
Your reprobate budgerigar and warm it
Gently by the smoking embers of the fire
In winter
And autumn
(Weather permitting).
Avoid arctic knitting
At all costs
(That way madness lies).
Wear sieves on all three feet
And beat a syncopative rhythm
As you walk.
Don’t talk
Overly much about prolific beards
And such.
It is not necessary
To read anything by Milton
And by extension
Milton Keynes
Is best avoided on
Alternate Tuesdays in spring.
Purée, unhinged, every day,
And say haberdashery
And pinnacle
In the same sentence
As often as you
Can get away with
Without raising an
Never wonder how
You came to this,
But sieve away the day
(sieve soberly, not overly)
And play dominos
With passing Mormon Norman doormen
(assure them of your
Honourable intentions)
And give the dimensions of your
Greenhouse when asked brusquely for
Your date of birth or
Shoe size.
Above all, remember
The walrus rarely lies,
Unless usurped,
And is therefore a better source
Of advice than
The throw of a dice,
Or idling your days away talking to mice.